Live Action has come out with a clever satirical video featuring male actors who want women to have abortions. It is thought-provoking and it makes a lot of good points, especially if the viewer is a woman who supports abortion.
But I also have to say that while some men would relate to this juvenile thinking, the reality is that abortion hurts MEN, too.
When I first came to FFL, I inherited a brochure called “Abortion Liberates Men.” It was the first thing I put into the recycling bin.
Sometimes, people talk to me as if I am a priest, telling me the stories that they wouldn’t tell anyone else. And yes, many have come from men who were devastated by the deaths of their children.
There was the young man who unexpectedly came into my office and melted down, tearfully telling me it was the 10th anniversary of the death of his son — and how he was a coward. He was at a military academy, and she was at a women’s college. His parents said he couldn’t support a baby if he dropped out of school (which to this day is still a requirement), and her brother said she could have other children. She was into her fifth month when she went to New York for an abortion. He told me that he would return the next day to volunteer, as I was leaving for a meeting on the Hill. He never married. They never had other children. And I never saw him again.
A neighbor told me that he learned his wife had had an abortion while in college, and it was his child. He had no idea. It ate away at him, and they divorced.
There was a guy in the seat next to mine on a flight to a college. After asking me what I do for work, I heard his story of great loss for the rest of the journey.
And just recently, a man told me that he had never told anyone before, but knowing what I do as a Feminist for Life, he told me his wife had an abortion against his will. They had two daughters, and she didn’t want any more kids. It was his son. And today, he still imagines what he would be doing, what he would look like.
I asked, “Have you named him?” He replied no. I said, “You can, you know.” And I think he will.
So for those of you who mourn — including men who had no choice or regretted participating and supporting or even coercing a woman into an abortion, you know the truth:
Abortion does not liberate men. It haunts them.
But men can liberate women from abortion. You can be that dad — or even a friend. You can stand up. And you will get far more out of this relationship with this child than you ever dreamed. And if you are the father, you deserve better.
This is why we do what we do. This is why we march, why we write and share posts and slap bumper stickers on our cars and laptops, why we help one woman at a time to turn fear into hope, and loss into life. There is always a solution. And people to help. That is who we are as Feminists for Life, the people who listen, the messengers of hope, who volunteer, who offer real help, especially now.
If you have lost someone through abortion, there is help:
- Franciscan Friars of the Renewal
- National Memorial for the Unborn
- Project Rachel
- Rachel’s Vineyard
- Silent No More Awareness Campaign
- Sisters of Life
We believe in the strength and dignity of women, the potential in every human life, and the importance of fathers.
Because everyone deserves better than abortion
Serrin M. Foster
Feminists for Life of America
Women Deserve Better
& The American Feminist
P.S. In celebration of our 50th Anniversary (yes, FFL was “born” a year before Roe), we are sharing stories of Feminists for Life. We want to know how and where you found us (at school, online, in print, on TV, on the radio, from a friend, at a rally, etc.), how you felt, what it meant to you, and how it empowered and inspired you. Maybe you helped a friend by directing her to WomenDeserveBetter.com or you personally supported her during pregnancy and parenting. Perhaps you brought an FFL Speaker or Forum Moderator to your school. Or you penned a letter to your editor; reached out to your legislator on important pro-woman, pro-life issues; stood for moms and babies at a rally; volunteered at a pregnancy resource center; adopted or are fostering a child. Maybe you refused to choose abortion and chose life for your child! Tell us: What is your story? Take a few minutes and send your experience, along with a headshot, to firstname.lastname@example.org ASAP for our upcoming magazine — or send us a short video for our website by Monday, January 17! (NB: If you wish to share your story anonymously or under a pseudonym, we will gladly honor that.)
Alternatively, for those of you who missed being a part of our most recent edition of The American Feminist, titled “Sheer Joy,” you are also invited to tell your story for an online extended edition of our print magazine to explain why a child brought you tender moments, warm memories, or a hilarious tale to share — by video or in text!
Either way, you can inspire and empower others by sharing. ‘Tis the season, and THIS is your invitation!!